Funniest things you've ever heard a colleague say

[madpoet]

So I made a major social gaffe at work the other day, and it got me thinking about the funniest things I've ever heard said in the workplace.

My mistake... my boss, who is a woman, said something like "Man on a day like this I'd just like to drill 18 holes and drink a couple shots of tequila." To which I responded (completely unthinkingly) "I'd like to have 18 shots of tequila and drill a couple of holes!"

Yes, that was a bad thing to say ;)

Funniest thing I ever saw though was when I was a travelling engineer. I was at a Catholic hospital and the head nurse was like this 80 year old nun. She sent out an email to the entire IT department that had them just howling with laughter. Mother Whateverhernamewas sent this whole email about how she was experiencing a "Disk I/O Error". Unfortunately she substituted a C for the S. The head of IT was actual brave enough to say to her "Well really Mother, at your age and profession I would hope you ARE experiencing a Dick I/O error!"

[Sandbagger]

You better hope she doesnt think it was directed at HER, thinking you would need 18 shots of ToKillYa:whistle:

[gonk]

I can think of at least a couple instances. One was a now-retired plumbing designer who was working on a new stadium. He was on the phone with someone and asking questions about "the zambui" - clearly confusing the person at the other end. Eventually the person at the other end figured out that he was asking about plumbing provisions for the Zamboni. He was the same person who once asked an interior designer why she cared what a urinal looked like because "she'd never see it." That didn't go over well...

Another time we were working late one night and the phone rang. One guy picked up the phone, put the caller on hold, and then paged another guy over the drafting room PA. He said simply, "Mike, line 83." Mike said, "Oh, yeah - I forgot to call me wife," and proceeded to pick up the line with "Hello sweetness!" That's when the guy who answered the phone said, "I didn't say it was his wife" just about the time Mike said, "Oh, hi, Harry." It was actually one of our co-workers calling to check on the project.

[Steve_vai_rules]

a long running saying of one of my profs has gotten stuck in my head. and now any time any says cheers i need to hold myself back from saying it.

well at a business meeting (half filled with women) and a few drinks in for all of us one of the people stood up and said "cheers to beers" to which i loudly and unthinkingly said "and chicks with ears so you got somethin' to hold onto..."................ <- what my prof said all the time.

all i got was a look of shock from everyone. especially because none of them realized i really am quite a terrible person.. :no clue: the night continued largely in silence after that.


Matt

[tthurman]

You better hope she doesnt think it was directed at HER, thinking you would need 18 shots of ToKillYa:whistle:

Not to mention the couple holes statement! :saywhat:

[tthurman]

I should have read on before posting:

Good one Matt...

[dane]

Just the other day I was leaning in to the HR office where a few coworkers were laughing with the HR rep (a lady).. Having missed the earlier joke and waiting for the laughter to subside I was just causually looking around her office, which had one of those large 6ft tall, 19" wide rackmount shelf units in the corner from a previous project.. Without really thinking it through I said, "wow, nice rack," to which thunderous laughter was had and everyone quickly remembered they all had to be somewhere...

..dane

[tthurman]

That's hilarious!

I think we have a winner! Oh wait this isn't a contest:hide: