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The Results of Boosting His Economy

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  • The Results of Boosting His Economy

    I know many of u are banging your heads wondering how m could wind up knocked up with yet again one of DOJ's love children.....

    So, here's the ENTIRE scoop:

    About a year ago, I visited a garage sale right around the time when the economy was really sinking. This garage sale was like no other. It was a Walmart under a tent. Diapers, toothbrushes, batteries, canned goods, etc.... And, cases of K Y Jelly. Yep, u read correctly. K Y Jelly. I had no idea what this lady was into, but I have never been one to NOT ask when I am struck with curiosity. I went up to the lady and she referred me to -the world of hard core couponing.

    These ladies are stranger than any of the guys on AV123. If someone starts a prayer request, they get *****ed out because they are clogging up the threads that are meant for "good deals" ONLY. If someone suffers a house fire or a stolen car, it is not a question of survival or even vehicle repalcement-it is did your husband save your coupon binder?? (and, not your children ((who cares))) , and was your coupon tote in the stolen vehicle?? (oh, the tragedy). And, when there is a triple play on K Y Jelly (meaning store sale, manufacturer coupon, and rebates)..... well, these women clear shelves. So, my adventure began.

    I wondered what I would do with all that K Y Jelly before I began purchasing it. I, also, thought of what kind of reputation I would have buying case loads off of my Walgreen's shelf. To my surprise, both of my issues worked themselves out. Last Halloween, I dumped a TON of it on our lawn and it made for a VERY "ghostly" Halloween and when I put out my buckets of empty bottles for the recycling guys (well, I won their favor-meaning I now have access to MORE coupons off of their trucks). They had a noncoincidental attitude adjustment real quick....

    Lastly, how I found myself with a bun in the oven....... DOJ came home after a yearly review from his employer all depressed. And, I asked him why he was bummed. He said his review went GREAT, they liked his work, liked him, etc.... But, were unable to offer him much of a raise this year because of the economy. I just smiled and said, "Honey, I have the same excuse of why I CAN offer you a raise." And, he asked, "What do u mean?" I then lead him to my hidden stash....... And, I said, "Because, of the economy..... I have ALL of this and u will now get your raise that u so well deserve."

  • #2
    Good to see you posting again m! Entertaining, as usual!
    Coach Pat Summitt - Folding at Home


    • #3
      Margaret, your witty posting is reminiscent of the late, and GREAT, Erma Bombeck. Please keep posting cuz you're a delight. Hope everything goes smoothly for you.


      • #4
        M - glad to see you back! You are certainly more informed about K-Y Jelly than my wife.

        She doesn't know the difference between K-Y Jelly and window putty. As a result, several of our windows fell out. :rock:


        • #5
          Originally posted by Ray3
          M - glad to see you back! You are certainly more informed about K-Y Jelly than my wife.

          She doesn't know the difference between K-Y Jelly and window putty. As a result, several of our windows fell out. :rock:
          Ok that almost made me spit out some food I had in my mouth which would have looked really stupid at work! Nicely put!!

          M, wonderful prose, always loved reading your posts at the other site :)


          • #6
            OMFG m.... You are one wonderful cookie. And no, I don't mean the one DOJ used the KY Jelly on. It is WONDERFUL to see you here. I am so thankful you are gracing us with your presence. You will brighten the days of everyone who reads your prose and that's the greatest gift of all. I still say you should write a book. Hell, just your colorful euphamisms on your husbands escapades would make it an instant best seller. Well, that and including the bravado of the Clinton IA Cops and well.... Clinton IA in general.

            Our family's thoughts are with you through this time you are now going through. Our prayers are with you, the new little one and of course, Jaycee and Kurt.

            MAN it's GREAT to see you again m....
            John W.


            • #7
              Very glad to see you here!

              I desperately needed a good laugh.


              • #8
                Wait thats not a true story????? Cause it sounds about right for where I live in Central Florida


                • #9
                  Somebody fire the asshole that runs this place and give the job to Marge. :yes:


                  • #10
                    It's about time someone posted something witty...:clapper:


                    • #11
                      This pretty much sums up why I'm drunkonjack :woo:
                      A knock at the door said "Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms" I thought it was a delivery.:biglaugh:


                      • #12
                        Never Argue With An idiot. They'll Lower You To Their Level And Then Beat You With Experience!


                        • #13
                          Great read! Thanks for the smile. I'm with Quadman, you should write a book.



                          • #14
                            I feel a little queasy.
                            There's a fine line between gardening and Madness.
                            -Cliff Clavin


                            • #15
                              Yeah, me too. Imma go lay down... with my backside against the wall. :shiftyeyes: