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  • Found this on Yahoo

    5 Behaviors of Manipulative People.

    Many of us like to think the best of people. We like to think that they shoot straight and are forthright in their intentions. We also like to believe that they will ask for what they want and not resort to crazy tactics to get it. Unfortunately, however, there are times when we come across those who will do whatever it takes to get what they want...including manipulation. Being manipulated never feels good, but the worst part of manipulation is that often, we don’t even realize that it is happening. Here are a few ways to know if someone is trying to manipulate you:

    1. Buttering You Up: To get their way, manipulators will often make you feel good so that they can then ask you to do something that they want. The person may first compliment you or tell you what a wonderful job you did on something. Making you feel good will, in their mind, make it difficult for you to say no…after all, you wouldn’t want to disappoint them or give them reason to think you didn’t deserve the compliment in the first place. What you can do: Return the compliments and the niceties before saying no.

    2. Guilt: This doesn’t only pertain to Catholics and Jewish Mothers; guilt trips have been a successful manipulation tactic for centuries. The saddest part of this strategy is that the victims of this tactic succumb to the manipulators’ demands because they feel they HAVE to, not because they WANT to. In personal relationships, this sets up a co-dependency that is extremely unhealthy. What you can do: Ask the individual if they want you to do something because you have to or because you want to. If they say they want you to want to do it, tell them that you don’t and that they are trying to force you into something you don’t feel comfortable with.

    3. Broken Record: Probably the most obvious of formats is the broken record tactic. If a person asks you enough or pushes their agenda enough…constantly repeating the question or request over and over again…in slightly different ways, the victim will inevitably give in and give them what they want. Oye! What you can do: Ask the individual what they don’t understand about the word “no.” Tell them that asking you over and over again isn’t going to change anything and that they are inappropriately over-stepping boundaries.

    4. Selective Memory: This one gets me the most. You swear you have a conversation about a plan and everyone is on the same page, and then one day, the manipulator pretends to remember the conversation completely differently, if at all. What you can do: Record your conversations…seriously! Okay, maybe not. At least have a witness that you can count on to back you up if the person pulls this shenanigan. Call them out on the fact that they conveniently change the game to fit their needs.

    5. Bullying: If a person doesn’t get their way, they make you out to look or feel like the bad guy…like you are the wrong one. What you can do: Be firm and tell them that their bullying tactics are inappropriate and unacceptable.

    Keep your eyes open for these behaviors and continue to stand your ground to ensure that you aren’t a victim of manipulation. Have you seen any other types of manipulative behavior?
    Hugh
    MELODY US Distributor
    www.angelcityaudio.com

    A man is only as good as his words.

  • #2
    Gee, I wonder who this applies to....

    Comment


    • #3
      I was going to say Matt Fine, but I'm guessing you had someone else in mind?
      With a shovel...

      Comment


      • #4
        Sounds like my dog.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Jed M
          Sounds like my dog.
          Your dog talks to you? :shiftyeyes:
          With a shovel...

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Stereodude
            I was going to say Matt Fine, but I'm guessing you had someone else in mind?
            I am pretty sure I am not known for giving too many compliments!

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            • #7
              Originally posted by m-fine
              I am pretty sure I am not known for giving too many compliments!
              Oddly enough I've noticed that. :fryingpan:
              With a shovel...

              Comment


              • #8
                Hey, it's not nice to talk about my ex behind her back. :D

                Well, except for the buttering up part...

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Hugh
                  5 Behaviors of Manipulative People.


                  Keep your eyes open for these behaviors and continue to stand your ground to ensure that you aren’t a victim of manipulation. Have you seen any other types of manipulative behavior?
                  "
                  • Denial: Manipulator refuses to admit that they have done something wrong.

                  • Rationalisation: An excuse made by the manipulator for inappropriate behavior. Rationalization is closely related to spin.

                  • Minimization: This is a type of denial coupled with rationalization. The manipulator asserts that her behavior is not as harmful or irresponsible as someone else was suggesting, for example saying that a taunt or insult was only a joke.

                  • Selective inattention or selective attention: Manipulator refuses to pay attention to anything that may distract them from his agenda

                  • Diversion: Manipulator not giving a straight answer to a straight question and instead being diversionary, steering the conversation onto another topic.


                  • Covert intimidation: Manipulator throwing the victim onto the defensive by using veiled (subtle, indirect or implied) threats."

                  These really remind me of someone.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Stereodude
                    Oddly enough I've noticed that. :fryingpan:
                    Yeah, but you are not known for receiving compliments! :stirthepot:

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by m-fine
                      Yeah, but you are not known for receiving compliments! :stirthepot:
                      What are are the odds... :dizzy:
                      With a shovel...

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Stereodude
                        What are are the odds... :dizzy:
                        Maybe if you had 15+ affairs and were good at golf people would like you better.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I am thinking Seth would be more like Wilt Chamberlain than Tiger's meager exploits.
                          Originally posted by m-fine
                          Maybe if you had 15+ affairs and were good at golf people would like you better.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by dvenardos
                            I am thinking Seth would be more like Wilt Chamberlain than Tiger's meager exploits.
                            Just don't tell my wife. :crazy:
                            With a shovel...

                            Comment

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