Just venting 'cause I don't know what else to do...

[ben9732]

Posted from an assisted living facility ......


Last week my Mom fell at her assisted living facility, breaking her nose and bruising her chest wall. Not fun with two trips to the ER but three days later she’s developed delirium so I’ve been with her 16/7 (unemployment has it’s benefits somehow). We think it’s from a chronic infection she develops so hopefully in 3 or 4 days with meds she will be back to normal and so will my time (and I can finish building a set of Skiing Ninja boards for my Ref3s .... there's a reason for posting this in an audio forum).

If anyone has never experienced this, she has no idea where she is, sometimes thinking it is when she was 5, 15, 30, 50, 70 or 90 years old. She’s 96. That’s bad enough but the other morning she woke up only speaking Polish. I don’t. So far I’ve been her son, father, husband, or brother. She thinks it funny that I keep messing with her head on where she's at or what year it is.

She went though delirium before with an infection when we had the AV123 GTG at Deepak’s My wife had me attend the GTG to get my mind off of the situation, but while physically there my mind was not.

I’m going over the cliff at 85.

[arthurs]

Sorry to hear about this Jack, it must be very frightening and confusing for both of you to deal with. Watching over and waiting with those we love during illness is tough stuff, it feels so helpless. You're a good son to be there for her, I'm sure it means the world to her, and I believe somewhere in all the confusion she knows you're there for her.

Keep the love and attention of her son flowing her way, it's the best medicine there is to offer. We'll be keeping you both in our thoughts and prayers here in Texas. Hang in there

[Musicmaniac]

I've been through a similar situation and know where you're coming from. I don't want to sound too frantic but I would keep an eye on her and the staff. Mine was fine one day and then like yours the next, then gone. I was amazed at how fast things went down hill. Also, I wasn't able to be there in person but wish I could've been. It's a good thing you're able to be there no matter what happens. Hopefully she'll recover and this is just a scare. Take care of yourself she'll need you more than ever now.

[quadman]

So sorry to hear about this Jack.... hang in there my friend. I'll have you and your Mom in my thoughts and prayers.

[django1]

Tough stuff to go through... I'm with you on the going over the cliff stuff. Life is really strangely set up...

[ben9732]

Thanks guys. Sympathies appreciated by not needed.

It’s just part of life for many of us or going to be and something I guess I’ve tried not to acknowledge would happen. Hopefully the meds will bring her back to the reduced cognitive ability she regressed to rather then the state she is in now. Physically she is pretty damn health for almost 97. Her BP is 120/70, great heart rate, a slight amount of COPD from before she stopped smoking at 50, and only takes Boniva for bone density. I’m here killing off my internal organs with all the drugs I’ve had to take for my ailments.

I guess I just need to talk about it. And maybe it will help others in the future. I started going over several times a day to make sure she was getting up OK and get used to using an inhaler since here breathing was irritating her chest wall contusion. The other day I got there 15 minutes before her 7:20 breakfast time and she and her friends were already at the dining table. She seamed “normal” so gave her Tylenol and inhaler. She was more talkative then normal. Came back right after lunch for another round of meds and again she was fine.

I went back at 6:30pm figuring she would be in bed and when signing in saw her in the front lobby with two other women and she called out “That’s my son”. I realized this was unusual right away as she finishes dinner at 5:15 and goes right up to her room.

As I walked over she was hyper and stating she ready to go home. The two women were telling me about “some of us just have a hard time with remembering and I seemed very patient. I had to convince her to go with me up to her room, all the while she was telling me she had never been here before. For two hours we went over and over again about all things in her life but finally got her not to understand, but to go to bed and we’ll talk in the morning. Then Mom’s Polish came out the next morning.

You know, we all grew up with Twilight Zone or Star Trek shows where someone had been transported to another time or dimension. It is surreal to be looking into the eyes of a father, mother, wife, ….family member, knowing they think they are in a different time, you’re a different person. You know they are not trying to lie, and while your looking closely in their eyes it is so confusing to them while they can’t comprehend what is going on. I did the only thing I could do, and that is go clinical, being calm and just keep explaining what the reality is.

It really gets interesting when she changes her reality minute by minute.

Time to go to bed and see what tomorrow has in store for me in my own Twilight Zone.

[dvenardos]

I remember when my great grandmother slowly lost her mind, it was not fun at all. Hopefully, some day the diseases of the mind will be a thing of the past and we can live normal lives until we die...

[etcarroll]

Sorry to hear this Jack, hang in there.

[fanuminski]

Hi Jack - Don't know if this story will be related or not, but
at least is has a "happy" ending.
My Uncle (who is 83) got sick last January and went to the hospital
for minor bile duct surgery and then went to a nursing home to
"recover". I am his only local relative and have power of attorney for
both his financial and medical (lucky me -lol)
He contracted C-diff and his weight went from
175 to 139. During this time, whenever I visited him, I noticed
that later in the day - during early evening especially, he would
lose track of time and what day it was, and just seem a bit weird.
Someone told me it was "sundowning". I looked it up
( http://www.righthealth.com/topic/Sundowning_(dementia) )
and wasn't sure if that "fit" him.
Some days, I thought he was sort of "out of it" - some days
I thought he was ok.
Well, after over 2 1/2 months, he finally got well enough for
me to move him into an assisted living facility.
that was back in June. Today, he is doing great.
he can make his own appointments, take cabs, remember to
take his medication, and calls me daily.

Looking back, I can't believe how close I was to just sending
him to a nursing home. And, how much his physical well being
had a direct relationship to his mental well being.
I actually had one RN from a local assisted
living place come out and evaluate him and tell me he needed
nursing care -and that he shouldn't be in her assisted living side.
She was wrong.
I also had the doctor from the nursing home where he was "recovering"
tell me directly "you know your Uncle has dementia" ! He was convinced
of it and basically told me that I was in denial.
He was wrong.
so, I guess I am hoping that when your mom recovers physically ,
she will also regain her mental state (as least to where she was).
Good luck to you and your family!
-Mike

[ben9732]

It's about time for an update and try to share some knowledge of the situation.

It turned out that her delirium was due to the urinary track infection that older women are prone to. As the antibiotics were taken effect, daily you could see an improvement with her. And after 7 to 10 days she was talking with others in the community, asking relevant questions, and the like.

She still does suffer from some memory loss, which for almost 97 is not bad. If I physically take her to my home, the nursery, etc she recollects what she was missing, so I keep talking to her abput the past and starting to put together an album of her old pictures throughout her life.

Being in the assisted living facility for 16 hours at a time (no Gene, as a visitor) reveals a lot of interesting situations. There are some there in their 50's with dementia, while others almost 100 with the clarity of a 20 year old. There are two older sisters helping each other, neither can remember if they just ate dinner or not.

About a dozen years ago my company offered Long Term Care Insurance and both Les and I got the policy. I hope we never have to use it.

Bottom line Mom is doing well, but if you have an older mother, sister, wife or relative who suddenly has an issue, simple antibiotics which do not have side effects can be the cure.

[edward]

Posted from an assisted living facility ......


Last week my Mom fell at her assisted living facility, breaking her nose and bruising her chest wall. Not fun with two trips to the ER but three days later she’s developed delirium so I’ve been with her 16/7 (unemployment has it’s benefits somehow). We think it’s from a chronic infection she develops so hopefully in 3 or 4 days with meds she will be back to normal and so will my time (and I can finish building a set of Skiing Ninja boards for my Ref3s .... there's a reason for posting this in an audio forum).

If anyone has never experienced this, she has no idea where she is, sometimes thinking it is when she was 5, 15, 30, 50, 70 or 90 years old. She’s 96. That’s bad enough but the other morning she woke up only speaking Polish. I don’t. So far I’ve been her son, father, husband, or brother. She thinks it funny that I keep messing with her head on where she's at or what year it is.

She went though delirium before with an infection when we had the AV123 GTG at Deepak’s My wife had me attend the GTG to get my mind off of the situation, but while physically there my mind was not.

I’m going over the cliff at 85.

did the hospital run any CT scans or MRI scans to rule out any trauma somewhere else that may be contributing to this change in mental state or were any blood clutures or urine cultures done to try and id the offending bacteria?
i have seen patients that are Alert and Oriented X3 or X4 which ever the hospital now uses, develop an infection usually a urinary track infection. And the mental state
changes to much what you have described after the infection is taken care of the mental state returns back to
their base line. And some of the patients have no recall
as to their behavior.

and do as etcarroll writes "hang in there".
if it starts to get too much try to get a day off and go to the movies, park etc. this also happens a lot where good meaning caregivers are overwhelmed with the constant
attention that at times needs to be given to the patient.

[etcarroll]

That's good news Jack. Just a few days ago I lost an aunt who'd been in Alzheimers for past few years. My younger sister called me to say she'd brought my mother to visit aunt Caroline, who looked great.

And my sis called the next day to say Caroline had died over night.

You just never know.

Glad you got your mother back.

Gene

[dvenardos]

Thanks for the update Jack.